Korean Proverb: If You Speak Kindly, You’ll Hear Kindness

Meaning of the Korean Proverb

The Korean expression 가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다 means: “If your words going out are kind, the words coming back will be kind too.” It emphasizes that respectful speech brings respectful responses.

Clarifying "말 (mal)": Words vs Horse

In this proverb, 말 means “speech” or “words,” not “horse.” Technically, “horse” is pronounced with a slightly longer vowel (“maal”), but in daily speech this is hard to hear, so Koreans rely on context to understand the difference.

Korean Syllable Structure and “받침 (Batchim)”

Each Korean syllable has up to three parts:

• 초성 (Choseong): Initial consonant
• 중성 (Jungseong): Vowel
• 종성 (Jongseong): Final consonant (optional, called 받침)

When a syllable has a final consonant, it’s called 받침 — meaning “support” — because it visually supports the other parts above.
Example: 말 (mal) = ㅁ (initial) + ㅏ (vowel) + ㄹ (받침)

Pronunciation of “말 (mal)”

Pronounced: [mal]

• ㅁ (m): Lips together, vocal cords vibrate. Like "m" in "mother."
• ㅏ (a): Mouth opens, tongue remains low and relaxed. Like the short "a" in "father."
• ㄹ (l): As the sound finishes, the tip of the tongue quickly rises to touch the area just behind your upper front teeth (the alveolar ridge), then drops. Like the soft "l" at the end of "ball." It should be a quick, gentle tap — not curled or held.

When saying “말,” this entire tongue movement happens in a single, smooth motion without pause:

1. ㅁ: Lips pressed together. Tongue resting.
2. ㅏ: Lips part. Tongue stays low.
3. ㄹ: Tongue tip lifts to the ridge briefly, then releases.

English speakers can practice this by quickly saying the word “ball” and focusing on how their tongue finishes the word. The Korean ㄹ in 받침 position is even lighter and faster than that.

Cultural Context

This proverb reflects the Korean cultural value of politeness and reciprocity. It’s often used when someone speaks too bluntly, as a reminder that the way you speak affects how people respond.

Example Sentences

• “Don’t be rude. 가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다.”
• “I spoke nicely, and she replied kindly. 가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다.”
• “That’s why my parents always say 가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다.”